Freaking Marketing

Four All-Beef Patties, Special Sauce, Lettuce, Cheese ...

Just read a report on CalorieLab that MacDonald's Japan introduced a 754-calorie, four-patty Mega Mac. Guess Micky D's top dogs didn't want Westerners to have a monopoly on unhealthy eating.

Photographer Takeshi Fukuda apparently saw this coming years ago -- and found the humor in it. You'll notice on the six-year-old chart that when Fukuda ran out of mathematical ways to express the number of beef patties between the buns, he turned to Marx Brothers names.

Are you lovin' it?

If you were Michael Phelps --

Would you retire from swimming at age 23 after winning an unprecedented 8 gold medals in a single Olympics (and 14 gold medals overall), or plan on competing in the London 2012 Games?

Share your thoughts in "Comments."

Bigfoot Could Land You Zillions in Free Advertising

By now you've heard the new twist on an old tale. Two hikers stumble upon a carcass of the storied Sasquatch, drag the 500-pound corpse onto a pickup truck, and secretly place it in cold storage before Bigfoot buffs are able to get their greedy hands on it.

Then the guys do what any opportunistic 21st century capitalists would do: cash in via e-commerce. The lucky entrepreneurs, Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, hold a press conference wearing hats emblazoned with a SearchingForBigfoot.com URL.

On the site they feature a commemorative pewter belt buckle for just $29.99, a "Searching for Bigfoot" four-DVD collection for $95, a "Bigfoot Lives" lapel pin for a mere $6.50, and much, much more.

I know what you're thinking: "Why the heck didn't WE find Bigfoot and earn a fortune in free advertising for OUR company?"

What if I said YOU could have the very same Bigfoot carcass Whitton and Dyer found? According to Jerry Parrino, owner of TheHorrorDome.com, the now-famous photograph of the deceased creature in the white self-storage vault "definitely looks like our costume."

Parrino's costume is selling for $449 on his site. It's apparently a limited edition and only 100 will be made. So if you hurry, you too could stage your own photo op and ride the coattails of Bigfoot '08.

If the suit fits, wear it.

Bernie Mac's Big Mad Ave Moment

As a tribute to Bernie Mac, who died this morning at age 50, here's a 60-second Nike TV spot created by Wieden & Kennedy in 2003, featuring Mac as a fiery preacher and LeBron James as "The Chosen One."

Look closely and you'll see all-star WNBA players like Sheryl Swoopes in the choir -- along with NBA hall of famers Julius ("Dr. J") Erving, Jerry West, Moses Malone, and George ("The Iceman") Gervin seated in white and blue warmups.

How to Send Your Creative Team Over the Edge

This "spot-on" video answers a fascinating question: What if there were no stop signs ... and a major corporation was charged with inventing one? Check it out and let me know if it hits home.

I discovered this via the freelance copywriter and absolute gentleman Jack Rymsha.

Larry Holmes Called My Twin Brothers Today

It was a birthday present for Eddy and Larry Rosenthal, who happen to be just 15 months younger than yours truly. I arranged the calls through Hollywood is Calling.

In addition to the former Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World, customers choose from Lou Ferrigno (the Hulk in The Incredible Hulk), Joseph Gannascoli (Vito in The Sopranos), Russell Johnson (the Professor in Gilligan's Island), Ron Palillo (Horshack in Welcome Back Kotter), Butch Patrick (Eddie in The Munsters), and more than 80 other famous human beings.

Direct marketers sick of offering the same old stuff to prospects and customers may want to give this thing a test when the situation is right. We'll continue the discussion on novel direct marketing offers on our Facebook group, What I Saw at the Direct Marketing Revolution (see the Unusual Direct Marketing Offers discussion board).

Here's a relevant video clip for Larry, Eddy, and classic rock fans everywhere. Enjoy. 

"I'm John McCain and I Approve this Moronic Message"

So much for John McCain's pledge to run a clean campaign. In his latest Rovian ad aimed at the lowest of low-information voters, the presumptive Republican nominee for president compares Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. Apparently the former straight-talker would rather put his principles in a blind trust than lose an election.

What do YOU think?

8/1 UPDATE: One YouTube viewer said this about the Low-Road Express: "McCain's ad is actually telling me just what they think of me - and I am not very happy about it at all!"

Here's the response from Barack Obama.

"I Want to Do 'Holy Shit!' Stuff"

We heard that from a Mothers of Invention prospect.

Why don't we hear it more often?

Remember: This is not a rehearsal.

Guess Who MarketingSherpa Considers Poster Boys for Web 2.0 Lead Gen?

Check out this article from MarketingSherpa's "Great Minds" series on the ABCs of Web 2.0 lead generation. Get the lowdown on how our direct marketing shop uses a four-pronged social media strategy that combines Facebook (our young group "What I Saw at the Direct Marketing Revolution" already has 1,350 members, including "living legend" Joe Sugarman), LinkedIn, Twitter, and yes, the good old Freaking Marketing blog (subscribe by adding your email address in the upper right and you're guaranteed a spot in marketing heaven).

The secret to juggling all those social media balls? Don't sleep.

What are you doing on the social media end of things? Share your experiences in "Comments."

P.S. MarketingSherpa is maintaining open access (I think that means no sign-in required to view the article) until August 5.

Which Hershey Bar is Real?

Is it "A" (the top bar) or "B" (the bottom one)? Add your guess -- and rationale, if you'd like -- to "Comments." I'll share the answer next week, along with a link to the entire "Can you spot the fake product?" quiz. Good luck.