Optimarketer: The Marketing Optimization Blog

The Copywriters Board Suddenly Goes Dark

I wandered into the Copywriters Board last year after publishing a post on World Reserve Monetary Exchange, a direct marketer that sells lots of coins and fields lots of complaints.

Actually, that's an understatement. Type "World Reserve Monetary Exchange" in Google using Internet Explorer 7 and right below the search box you'll automatically see additional words like "fraud" (with 374,000 results) and "scam" (368,000 results).

But on the Copywriters Board it was a whole other story. The advertising was hailed as "wonderful print ad copy" and "one of the best print ads I've seen all year."

Direct response copywriters were passing along tips that seemed, to this career direct marketer, out of bounds. Posters sounded like entrepreneurial copywriters with a passion for tricks that were at best marginally legal, and to a good share of consumers, clearly unethical.

It just seemed like a rough neighbhorhood. But I will say this: the posters were exceedingly polite.

Tonight I noticed Michael Fortin, the successful direct response copywriter and founder of the extremely popular Copywriters Board (by the way: none of the pro-WRME posts I read were written by Michael), has shuttered the Board for "personal reasons."

From the letter on the home page, it's obvious that Michael realized something was very wrong with the community he launched for copywriters back in the 90s. The area of the Copywriters Board I visited seemed like a haven for writers who had no problem taking advantage of old ladies. (I actually heard from a guy who believed his elderly father was ripped off by World Reserve Monetary Exchange shortly before he passed away.)

Michael Fortin has a huge following. For the sake of the direct marketing industry, if he relaunches the Copywriters Board, I hope he does something about posts that encourage misleading advertising.

Did any Freaking Marketing readers participate in the Copywriters Board, and if so, what did you think of it?

Empty Claims Get You Exactly What You Deserve

Just read this self-promotional copy from a direct response copywriter:

"It's a fact! We've toppled more controls ... and made more money for clients than anyone else in the industry."

How could the writer possibly know that? Did she or he (let's keep the gender and name out of it) poll every direct response copywriter on earth?

Obviously this writer had absolutely no idea whether the claim was true.

So why even bother typing a statement like that? You know why.

The writer figured it would sell more.

The logic goes like this: The larger the promise, the higher the sales volume -- and vice versa.

But is that really true? Not necessarily. Clients generally get the advertising they deserve, and this copy appeals to fact-challenged direct marketers (usually the worst type of client) -- so score one for the low end.

On the other end of the spectrum, direct marketing managers who care about truth in advertising will see this ad but choose not to respond, figuring the writer is full of shit.

Someone once said to think of an ad's promise as a balloon. Inflate it too much and it bursts.

In legitimate direct marketing, count on substantiated facts to outsell empty claims. (But if you're writing copy for Soraya the Psychic, you'll have to ask Soraya to divine the winning answer).

What do you think?

Lightning vs. Lightning Bug

Mark Twain said, "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug."

Amen, brother.

Where would those Housewives be today if they weren't known for being Desperate?

Choose the right words and defend your decision. It could make all the difference.

Short Headlines

What did you think of this entry's headline? Pretty succinct, huh?

Actually, I could have made it a little shorter.

But is shorter always better? 

Some time ago, we sent a client some ad copy. I worked my ass off on the headline. Really thought I made it sing.

The client wasn't impressed. Next to the headline he added these words in CAPS: "THE HEADLINE IS TOO LONG." Didn't matter what the thing said or did. It was all about the word count.

The headline in question had eight words.

I thought David Ogilvy settled this argument years ago when he joked that he made it into the Copywriter's Hall of Fame largely because of an 18-word headline: "At 60 miles an hour the loudest noise in this new Rolls Royce comes from the electric clock."

Let's return for a moment to this entry's headline. At two words, is it as good as it gets? No effen way. Give me some time and I guarantee I'll come up with something longer that'll blow it away.

The goal of the headline is to bring the right readers into the ad in the right frame of mind. Doesn't matter if it's five words or fifteen. Whatever does the trick.

One exception is small space advertising. When an ad lives in a tiny area, shorter is usually better. If it's too long, it's likely to disappear on the page.

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Freaking Index of Heavily Used Business-to-Business Buzzwords

At a Direct Marketing Association show, I recall speaking with a sales guy I couldn't understand. After listening patiently for a few minutes I finally asked, "So, do you do search engine optimization?" He immediately said, "Yep."

Buzzwords are often quite helpful, but they do have a downside. The more they're used, the less effective they become. Here are 10 buzzwords that are heavily used as copy points in b-to-b marketing:

10. Unprecedented visibility (151,000 Google results)

9. Lowest cost of ownership (270,000)

8. Unparalleled service (439,000)

7. Best-practices approach (606,000)

6. Leading solution (719,000)

5. End-to-end solution (957,000)

4. Best-in-class (1,780,000)

3. Best-of-breed (1,940,000)

2. Industry leader (2,040,000)

1. State-of-the-art (125,000,000)

Special thanks to Jack Rawlins for supplying the #1 buzzword. Check out Jack's blog for budget-challenged marketers: Marketing Ammo for the Little Guy.