Optimarketer: The Marketing Optimization Blog

The Grossest Ad of 2008

I'm calling this one early, because I don't believe anyone will find a more disgusting ad this year.

When I first eyed the banner for Woodward's Mycocide NS Antifungal Care Kit, I thought the finger on the right was an "after" photo. But upon closer examination (and after gagging repeatedly) I realized it was different fungi on a different finger in dire need of Mycocide.

The "got fungus?" headline, which probably caused a sharp decline in milk consumption among online adults, is almost as gross as the photography. And check out the thoroughly disgusting product packaging on the landing page, below the talking foot illustration (which in all seriousness could have been a more productive visual in the banner ad).

Is this advertising effective? It may be profitable, but I don't think it's optimal. Toothpaste advertisers learned decades ago that you generally move more tubes by showing gorgeous -- rather than decayed -- teeth.

What do you think of this ad? And what sort of award should I send Woodward Laboratories?    

How to Dramatically Increase Your Page Views

Run for president of the United States.

And here's another non-trivial benefit: It could land you on the home page of top-tier sites like CNN.

No wonder Viacom bought out Time Warner's half of Comedy Central for $1.23 billion. These people aren't just funny -- they're smarter than just about anyone in the television business.

Freaking Out over Useful Data

Marketers never knew how many people tossed their direct mail into the circular file without even opening the envelope. Or the percentage that started reading the piece but quit before responding. Or the number that bought the magazine but never even glanced at their shiny full-page ad.

But now clients are swimming in data on impressions, delivered messages, hits, opens, clicks-through rates, passalongs, and conversions. We know where prospects came from, what they did when they got there, and a whole lot more.

Some clients are ecstatic about the bumper crop of data now available -- but others are shocked.

Comments include, "You mean to tell me that only X percent opened our email ad?" Then there's the ever-popular, "That conversion rate of clicks to leads is unacceptable, and we should start thinking about other media." And of course, let's not forget, "Why isn't our message a lot more viral, like that Bush/Kerry video?"

Remember this, gang: Data is our friend. Embrace it, and it'll be good to you. Inside those seemingly arcane reports you may find what you need for exponential improvement.

So don't obsess over the low fractions you see -- direct marketing has always been a game of percentages. In many cases, if well under one percent buy, a campaign is enormously successful. In the end, only the net net matters.

And definitely don't go crawling back to media that underperforms but largely keeps you in the dark. In today's marketing world, ignorance definitely isn't bliss.